This Is A New Art School
Continuing with my recently adopted "drive readers away at all cost" theme, I've spent a good part of my morning composing a definitive list of the Top 15 "Side One, Track Ones". To wit:
1. The Ramones - "Blitzkrieg Bop" (Ramones)
2. Miles Davis - "So What" (Kind of Blue)
3. The Rolling Stones - "Gimme Shelter" (Let it Bleed)
4. The Clash - "Safe European Home" (Give 'Em Enough Rope)
5. Stiff Little Fingers - "Suspect Device" [album verison] (Inflammable Material)
6. Elvis Costello - "No Action" (This Year's Model)
7. The Modern Lovers - "Roadrunner" (The Modern Lovers)
8. Fivehead - "Big Mistake Factory" (Guests of the Nation)
9. Pavement - "Summer Babe (Winter Version)" (Slanted and Enchanted)
10. Sugar - "The Act We Act" (Copper Blue)
11. The Clash - "London Calling" (London Calling)
12. The Pogues - "The Sickbed of Cuchculainn" (Rum, Sodomy & The Lash)
13. The Smiths - "The Queen is Dead" (The Queen is Dead)
14. Rush - "Subdivisions" (Signals)
15. Elvis Costello - "Welcome to the Working Week" (My Aim Is True)
Note: It makes me happier than I can express to be able -- no, to have to put Fivehead in the Top 10. If you haven't, go buy Guests of the Nation... either right now, or in the immediate future. Or you can download it from iTunes. Also, the one song I felt weird about leaving off was Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love", but obviously a "top best opening track" list has to take into consideration the opening track in relation to the rest of the album -- I just don't know enough about Led Zeppelin II to make that call. OK, ditto "Come Together" off Abbey Road. Mind you, both would be ranked no higher than right below "Welcome To The Working Week". Selah.
Up next -- fantasy baseball! Just kidding.
Update! I've been thinking... and maybe I should just go ahead and put up the remaining 5, though these aren't really so much set in stone. Yeah, probably, but in no particular order -- other than being 16-20:
John Coltrane - "Olé" (Olé Coltrane)
Son Volt - "Windfall" (Trace)
The Ramones - "Cretin Hop" (Rocket To Russia)
New Order - "Regret" (Republic)
Minutemen - "Search" (The Punch Line)
Old 97's - "Timebomb" (Too Far To Care)
Hüsker Dü - "New Day Rising" (New Day Rising)
I dunno, I feel a little weird going with "Olé" at 16... jazz records are not necessarily subject to the same rules as other records, but it's still an incredible opening. Problem solved. Same deal with classical -- like I'm going to list "Aria" from Glenn Gould's version of the Goldberg Variations since it's so obviously superior to "Variation 5 (Les Jongleurs - á la Scarlatti)"?
How about the Beatles? Or fucking... fucking Beethoven? Side one, Track one of the Fifth Symphony... How can someone with no interest in music write about it in his blog?
Posted by: Barry | 04/08/2005 at 13:28
You'd be hard pressed to make the argument that Summer Babe is Pavement's best side one song one. Silence Kit, Stereo, Spit on a Stranger. They know how to kick off an album.
Bonus points for "The Sickbed of Cuchculainn", by the way. That song is a jam!
Posted by: tom | 04/08/2005 at 13:30
Doesn't anyone want me?
Posted by: D. Lee | 04/08/2005 at 13:34
You know, I was thinking about "Silence Kit", but... well, you know.
Posted by: very metal | 04/08/2005 at 13:45
What about "Time Bomb" off of TOO FAR TO CARE by the Old 97s?
or "Cherub Rock?" or "Feel" by Big Star? Jeez this list needs some work.
Posted by: benjamin hayes | 04/08/2005 at 13:52
I'll assume you commented before the update, Mr. Hayes -- eerie how I appear to be able to telepathically anticipate your fault-finding. Well-founded fault-finding in the case of the Old 97's, not as much with the Pumpkins or Big Star.
The big question is whether "Cherub" or "Feel" were definitive songs relative to the rest of their respective albums? I'd say "no" on "Cherub Rock" -- it's good, but hardly better than "Geek U.S.A." or a couple of others. And is "Feel" is a shining moment of Radio City? That's a hypothetical question. We all know the answer is clearly no.
Posted by: very metal | 04/08/2005 at 14:14
Airbag Conspiracy from OK Computer Radiohead.
Want from Unfun Jawbreaker.
Trompe Le Monde from Trompe Le Monde Pixies.
Kissing the Lipless from Chutes Too Narrow Shins.
Like A Fool from Foolish Superchunk. (Also, Skip Steps 1 & 3 from No Pocky)
Posted by: tom | 04/08/2005 at 14:20
OK, based on the 'definitive song' perspective, "Want" definitely is, probably not the rest of the songs I just listed.
Posted by: tom | 04/08/2005 at 14:24
quite the controversial list today, McCoy Lumber. Why hasn't Robert the Red petitioned for his precious...whatever he holds precious...
anyway, I would also add:
Army of Me - Bjork, POST
Knockin' on Mine - Paul Westerberg
Posted by: bernjarmeen | 04/08/2005 at 14:50
Why hasn't Derrek Lee hit a freaking home run yet?!
Posted by: tom | 04/08/2005 at 14:51
I've been wondering where Robert is myself... either I've given him what he needs with "No Action" and "Welcome to the Working Week", or we're looking at the quiet before the storm.
I did a lot of research online to see what other folks listed as top song ones -- "Caring Is Creepy" by your beloved Shins was on a signficant number of lists. Sorry, a significant number of stupid lists.
Tom, it's the fifth day of the season! Take a Zanax and cool yer jets. Lotsa baseball left to be played. Plus it's still chilly in Chi-town.
Posted by: very metal | 04/08/2005 at 15:03
Man, this Shins-bashing I take from the cool kids reminds me of getting slammed for liking the Soup Dragons in ninth grade. On second thought...
I played him today over Rolen because he's been so hot recently. Watch Rolen go 4-4 with to HRs, 6 RBI, and a walk.
Robert will be here shortly. He has been summonned using unholy means from the very supermarket of darkness!
Posted by: tom | 04/08/2005 at 15:44
Was there a final ruling on allowing jazz songs? It looks like you struck "Ole" and kept "Kind of Blue." For the record, I'd put "My Favorite Things," "Afro-Blue," and "Acknowledgement" all ahead of "Ole."
Posted by: The Tartan Horde | 04/08/2005 at 17:07
On the other hand, you're right and Tom is wrong about "Summer Babe [Winter Version]."
Also, "No Action" is the best opening track of all time. It's not even worth arguing.
Posted by: The Tartan Horde | 04/08/2005 at 17:09
CORRECTION: I meant to write "So What" instead of "Kind of Blue." Other than that, each of my comments above conveys an infallible truth.
Posted by: The Tartan Horde | 04/08/2005 at 17:12
Check out Pharoah Sanders' version of Ole, if you haven't already....
Posted by: Mickey Gordan | 04/08/2005 at 18:10
How about Spoon's "Everything Hits at Once" from GIRLS CAN TELL? I know Swellburg could write better, but come on...
Posted by: benjamin hayes | 04/08/2005 at 18:32
Alright, I agree about "My Favorite Things" -- part of me was sort of heading away from that because it's far and away the best thing on the album, bar none. It is the album. "So What", though... ahh, I can't get into this right now.
You all can take solace that, although your favorite "side one, track one" might be wrong, I deliberately left Rush's "Subdivisions" (Signals) off the list, for the obvious reasons.
Posted by: very metal | 04/12/2005 at 09:49
Rushsucks.
Ted, is your computer fixed?
Posted by: benjamin hayes | 04/12/2005 at 09:53
Uh, my computer's fixed, the typepad issue is fixed, but my asshole neighbors are passwording their wifi now. Or so it appears. Who knows? And more importantly, who cares?
Anyway, I am thinking now about doing a top jazz list to keep this good thing going. Since no one seems into the "Leetspeak Expose".
Posted by: very metal | 04/12/2005 at 09:57
3y3 r00lz0r u l00z3r!! stfun00b!! 3w3 w|_|z $7fUp\/\/n3d!!!!
Posted by: 70m | 04/12/2005 at 10:44
i like the shins and soup dragons. and shakespears sister. ooo........
Posted by: minnie | 04/12/2005 at 13:32
See, Tom: you don't have to feel alone anymore. It's not like I didn't go see the Soup Dragons at Fitzgerald's in high school. With Chris Lyons (a/k/a "Otto Matic", a/k/a "Gene Defcon" -- which at one point might have elicited a sneer but now I have my own little fuckwad alias and Chris had his way before me, so much respect), as a matter of fact. I went to see the Lemonheads, but who's keeping score? It's not like the Lemonheads are some super-sweet hipness litmus test. Who gives a shit? OK, I really wanted to say, these guys are from England and who gives a shit...
Posted by: very metal | 04/12/2005 at 13:48
The Shins are good. They are certainly better than Wedding Present. The test would require reality-changing technology, but IF we could somehow swap the two bands with regards to popularity, "time of discovery" by this honorable blogger, well you would hear a very different horn being tooted here on Secret Comics.
"It's the best band in the world because nobody else knows about 'em but ME!"
--David Cross as "true music fan"
Posted by: the Mayor of Drugachusetts | 04/12/2005 at 14:28
You're fucking retarded. The Wedding Present have been around since 1985, hold (or held) the Guiness Record for most U.K. Top Ten singles in a year (12), failed to achieve any signficant popularity on 2 major labels (RCA and Island), actually play their guitars, and could (and do) kick the shit out of some band with two records out on Sub Pop. Every one-trick pony indie band can put an "amazing" record or two out before the desperate treading of water begins to show. The Spinanes, anyone? Can I get a Seam? The list could go on and on...
And this has nothing to do with finding either band first -- in fact, I'm more than happy to give credit where it's due. It was irritating room-mate Angela L. (not the nice room-mate Angela O.) who introduced me to the Wedding Present in '94, so it wasn't like I was there for their first rehearsal or anything (only in my dreams...).
Enjoy the Shins all you want, just remember that's time spent you'll never get back.
==================
P.S. All this Shins shit-talking applies only to Ben Hayes, a/k/a Billy Bonka. But nobody tell him, it'll spoil all the fun.
Posted by: very metal | 04/12/2005 at 14:51