secret comics

Human Clock-age

In order to spare you a semi-regular barrage of Human Clock updates, I've started up a Human Clock submissions gallery. One of my more favorite pictures so far:

Not So Fast With The Hot Tip Bit

OK, I was wrong.  It didn't start with a text message from a friend of mine in the Detective Club -- the founding member, as a matter of fact, but I'm sworn to reveal nothing more about the organization upon penalty of death. OK, as I was saying... the message (that didn't start this whole thing):

Intriguing, and possibly just the thing to keep on flogging the "fried candy bar" dead horse.  But, like I said, I had actually been hipped to Mother Egan's and the fried Snickers bars by A. maybe a month or so ago -- sorry, Detective Club.  It's completely on me for inexplicably failing to heed A.'s heads up earlier.  So on a rainy Austin Saturday afternoon, better late than never, I got my backpack together with all the necessary equipment** and made the trip down to Mother Egan's Irish Pub.

As you can see, they have fried Snickers bars, as well as fried Milky Way bars, which was actually more germane (but not totally) to my purposes. Mother Egan's, by the way, is a pub much-beloved for it's karaoke Saturday nights. OK, beloved by some, but that still counts, right? Anyway, this afternoon they've got some shitty blues thing going on outside -- honestly, though, you can't blame them too much, since there's probably a shitty blues thing going on somewhere in this city 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Could be some kind of municipal ordinance, I'm not really sure. Anyway, I order the fried Milky Way, and here's what I get:

For one, the fried Milky Way bar itself was way bigger than I expected -- it reminded me of that fried ice cream you used to be able to get at Mexican restaurants. Or maybe you can still get it, who knows? OK, gotta tuck in quick, I guess -- it's a fried freakin' candy bar, you know? First bite reaction: Hmmm. That's pretty... good. Weird, but pretty good. Weird because: (a) It was way bigger than I expected. The quarter-inch thick crust is not something I expected to be a part of the deal. (b) The thickness of the fried dough gave it a definite "Chinese food" feel, like extra-doughy sweet and sour chicken. Don't ask me for any more details, that's about as much as I can verbalize. (c) Also, I could barely distinguish between the melting ice cream, chocolate sauce, fried dough, and actual Milky Way. This was disturbing. I expected something a little more immediate and stripped down, something you might get from a fish and chips van, right? Instead, I was getting a "theme restaurant" vibe from it. Not that that's a terrible thing, it just is what it is. I had a few more bites, but definitely was not able (or, in the end, willing) to finish the thing. The Milky Way definitely made itself felt, but still had to struggle to separate itself from the sugary primordial goo. By the time I was finished, I kind of had an upset stomach... maybe I'm just a lightweight.

**Camera, iBook, headphones to drown out inevitably bad bar music, and The Wedding Present's new record, Take Fountain -- only I apparently left the disc (but not the case) at work, because I didn't end up bringing it with. Rats.

Time For Some "Seekies"

Unfortunately, the award name "Commies" is already taken (Comedy Central's award for something or other), so we'll go with... "Seekies". Sure, that works. So... because bloggers are supposed to care about, uh, things like the Oscars, I'll briefly acknowledge the upcoming awards show by handing out a couple of "Seekies":

Seekie for Worst State Quarter ever: Florida

NB: Apologies in advance to sarahintampa if it looks like I'm bagging on your state -- I'm not, really. Florida is a lovely place, I'm sure. It's just... well, your state quarter sucks big time.

Seekie for Best Use of Machu Picchu In Album Cover Artwork: Herbie Hancock's Thrust.

Funky...

Decent Days and Nights

OK, this is kind of lame, and no one probably cares, but... I'm excited and that's enough for me.  It's SXSW time again here in Austin, TX!  I've gone ahead and bought my wristband.  See, I was in Waterloo and thinking hmmm, the line doesn't seem too long, and I realized I was either gonna have to buy my wristband right then or it almost certainly wasn't going to happen -- they do sell out pretty quick.  You can't order them online, so you either pay to get a "badge" or wait in line like a schlub.  I took the schlub route, though checking the badge rates they're not too excessive, considering you don't end up doing as much line-waiting-in.

So... below is my SXSW schedule, barring any unforeseen cancellations and/or shocking additions:

Date	Time	Band	Location
3/16	0:00	Eluvium	Eternal   (418 E 6th St)
3/16	1:00	Mono	Eternal   (418 E 6th St)
3/17	23:00	The Futureheads	La Zona Rosa   (612 W 4th St)
3/17	1:15	J Church	Red Rum   (501B E 6th St)
3/18	1:15	Guitar Wolf	Beerland   (711 1/2 Red River St.)
3/19	23:45	Son Volt	Stubb's   (801 Red River St)
3/19	1:00	Daniel Johnston	Maggie Mae's   (323 E 6th St)

Notes:

1.  I'm perfectly happy with 1-2 shows a night... it's a bit of drag that they're all so late, but there really isn't much shaking with the early shows.  It takes time to navigate between venues and an over-booked schedule ends up just being a major source of stress and frustration.

2.  What the hell is up with Wednesday night at 1:00 a.m.?  It's way overbooked with bands I want to see, but since I am not going to miss Eluvium and Mono (part of the Temporary Residence showcase), I've had to nix seeing Fivehead, The Bad Plus, and The Ends -- all playing at the same time.  Luckily, Fivehead are also playing the preceding Thursday, 3/12 at the Carousel with the Wannabe's, so I don't feel too terrible.

3.  The Son Volt show is exciting, if for no other reason that it's been a long time since I've seen them.  But's it's been an even longer time since I've seen Daniel Johnston, and if I have to cut Son Volt to see Danny, so be it.  This seems kind of likely.  I'll also have to forego the screening of The Devil and Daniel Johnston on Thursday in order to make sure I catch the Futureheads -- sucks, but oh well.  It'll be back.

4.  Guitar Wolf!!!  Eluvium!!!  The Futureheads!!!  Daniel Johnston!!!  Flippin' awesome...

Update!  Looks like Daniel Johnston will be all over the place at SXSW... here are his scheduled appearances, from his own site:

2005-March 14 Austin, Texas - Paramount 4 pm possible appearance after movie

2005-March 16 Austin, Texas - Daniel LIVE at Austin Music Awards - 3 songs televised

2005-March 17 Austin, Texas - ACC 4:30 pm possible appearance after movie

2005-March 17 Austin, Texas - Daniel LIVE at Cactus Club 9 pm

2005-March 19 Austin, Texas - ACC 4:45 pm possible appearance after movie

Shame that none of these dates match the "official" date I had for him to play -- although hooray! if that means I get to see Son Volt after all.

Double fantastic update!  How could I have overlooked Harvey Sid Fisher?!?  Well, I did... temporarily... but here's the deal:  Harvey Sid Fisher -- Saturday, March 19 -- 10:00 p.m. @ Chuggin' Monkey   (219 E 6th St)!  The same night as Daniel Johnston -- so SXSW Saturday is a go for complete genius!  Awesome!  Thanks to A. for the heads up.

Also:

Wednesday Day Party at Emo's

Found via the unofficial SXSW Yahoo group:

I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness 5:30

Mono 4:45

Shearwater 4:00

Zykos 3:15

Natural History 2:30

Octopus Project 1:45

What Made Milawukee Famous 1:00

4th Annual Porchlight Pop Fest March 19 @ The Tillery Street Theater 701 Tillery Street Austin, TX 78701

all times subject to change, stay tuned to www.tightspotrecords.com for the final stage times

1:00 Subset

1:45 Bedbug

2:30 The Winter Pageant

3:15 Palaxy Tracks

4:00 Fivehead

4:45 Swearing At Motorists

5:30 This Microwave World

6:15 The Natural History

7:00 Earlimart

Touch and Go/Kill Rock Stars Showcase

Touch and Go/Kill Rock Stars MegaKegger
Room 710
Saturday, March 19
Noon - 6pm

Live music by the following, in the order of appearance:

Paper Chase
Hella
Enon
Supersystem
The Gossip

Free stuff:
Vinyl walk prizes include Touch and Go & Kill Rock Stars releases among other goodies.

And beer.

I Like Short Songs

There has been some talk lately about my apparent proclivity for long-ish, spacey post-rock jams... so, for those about to rock, the Banana Splits salute you!  In a manner appealing to short attention spans, of course.

Bread & Circuses

I have resisted the temptation to post a link to Paris Hilton's hacked Sidekick notes, but the thought was there... for a couple of reasons, I think.  First and foremost, because the notes contain the soon-to-be (if not already) changed phone numbers of Super Dave Osborne and, to a much lesser extent, Pauly Shore.  I found this very funny.  Mainly the Super Dave Osborne aspect, I guess.

At first, I would have told you that this was the only reason I considered posting anything having to do with PH, but I think there was another reason -- it's kind of pleasing in a negative sense (there's a German word that I'm not going to bother looking up for this -- shnau-something or other) to see a celebrity have something stupid happen to them.  I know, I know, PH is not exactly a difficult target, but then there's all these celeb pals of hers getting prank calls from assholes who got their numbers online.  Kind of funny.  But then... then I heard Joe Strummer singing "Garageland"**, and I realized that I just don't care.

Life's way too full of interesting people in the here and now -- in fact this morning I learned that the guy who sells breakfast tacos at El Arroyo doesn't have any coloring in his eyes.  Meaning he has "albino eyes", as he describes it, he can't see like 6 inches in front of him without glasses or contacts... he said his eyesight's like -6.5 or something.  I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I guess it's bad, eyesight-wise.  And to top it all off, this morning I had the best breakfast taco of my life (or at least Top 3).

Update!  If you want to get the exact info I got, check it here.

Another stupid update!  These type of celebrities are the only ones I currently find even marginally interesting.

**"I don’t wanna hear about what the rich are doing/I don’t wanna go to where the rich are going/They think they’re so clever, they think they’re so right/But the truth is only known by guttersnipes"

Peace and Light, H.S.T.

What a terrible way to start Monday... H.S.T. is no longer with us. I don't really know what else to say.

First Seven Minutes

My love of the Human Clock has given rise to the latest Comics-related project: taking and submitting Human Clock "minute photos" for... well, as of right now for the 6:00 p.m. hour. First action re: said plan taken yesterday -- results below. Had a fun time getting them in various places in and around downtown Austin, hanging out with Alex.

I submitted all of these -- we'll see if any get selected. Something to look forward to, I guess -- I'll let y'all know how that turns out. Unless none are selected, then you won't hear another word about it. For now, though, I remain in dogged pursuit of more minute pictures...

Update!  6:04 is in!  Yesssssssss... (to be read in best Napoleon Dynamite voice)  Here's a slightly bigger version than above:

The rest were "might use later"ed -- which means the following, per the email from HumanClock: "Quick note concerning 'might use later' photos: your photo can be used in the website... just not right now.  This action usually comes up if you submit a lot of similar photos."

Which makes sense, and means I'll try to mix it up a little more with future HumanClock photos.  Updates when I have them.

The following sentence is false. The preceding sentence is true.

"The most famous [mathematical/set-related paradox] is Russell's paradox. Most sets [or groups of items], it would seem, are not members of themselves -- for example, [a] set of walruses is not a walrus, [a] set containing only Joan of Arc is not Joan of Arc (a set is not a person) -- and so on. In this respect, most sets are 'run-of-the-mill'. However, some 'self-swallowing' sets do contain themselves as members, such as the set of all sets, or the set of all things except Joan of Arc, and so on. Clearly, every set is either run-of-the-mill or self-swallowing, and no set can be both. Now nothing prevents us from inventing R: the set of all run-of-the-mill sets. At first, R might seem a rather run-of-the-mill invention -- but that opinion must be revised when you ask yourself, 'Is R itself a run-of-the-mill or self-swallowing set?' You will find that the answer is: 'R is neither run-of-the-mill nor self-swallowing, for either choice leads to paradox.' Try it!"

--Douglas R. Hofstadter, Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid

First Breath After Coma

There are topics so important trying to put pen to paper about them gets me nine kinds of worked up -- OK, not "important" as the term is widely understood, but "important" as defined by me, however loosely (read: stupidly) that might be.

And so... on to singing the praises of Explosions In The Sky! They are -- 1. another Austin band I've recently stumbled across, late as usual -- 2. on Temporary Residence, a brilliant label out of Portland, OR -- 3. unbeliveably great in their own right, in ways that completely defy my ability to so easily wax hyperbolic about this or that rock and roll band. My first reaction upon hearing them was (once again) bewildered outrage -- how come none of my "hep" associates had ever mentioned Explosions In The Sky to me? And why aren't they far and away the most popular band in this entire jerk-water burg? What!?!? Whyyyyyyyyy!?!?

An aside: let me say how unbelievably happy it makes me that Explosions In The Sky are from Austin. Add them to your short list of brilliant diamonds in the gaping mediocre rough.

Here's a live version** of "First Breath After Coma", recorded 6/6/03 at Bottom of the Hill, San Francisco, CA. "First Breath After Coma" is the first (brilliant) song off their latest (brilliant) album, The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place. Give it a listen and experience them for yourself. You can find this and many other live Explosions In The Sky tracks either here or here (though this site is less Mac-friendly), and some other places besides, I'm sure.

Explosions In The Sky blow me away because they do so much more in the "rock" idiom -- with two guitars, a bass, and drums, I guess I mean (they tend to get labelled post-rock along with Godspeed!, et al.) -- than any other band I can think of right now. It's not like every band needs to do what Explosions In The Sky do, I just don't think they could. Explosions In The Sky make... well, they make flat-out beautiful music, with soul and real depth and power and ferocious directness -- guitars, drums, and a bass creating art in the here and now. It's nice to keep on getting surprised by beauty, isn't it?

** It's all I can do to stop myself from tacking on adjectives like "brilliant" and "amazing" to most nouns associated with EITS. I'm trying, though. Sort of. Oh yeah, photos are from here, and are uncredited. If you were wondering, I deliberately avoided using some of the cooler pictures, on general principle.