I don't mean to make like of a tragic, tragic, mysterious recent murder in Québec, but dude, the accused wrestles wrestled under the name "Career Killer". We'll see if one out of two proves to be not bad. Or "totally awful and really bad", y' know, as circumstances warrant.
For the morbidly curious, like me, maybe, "Career Killer" wrestled for International Wrestling Syndicate (IWS), some seedy little wrestling syndicate in Québec -- looks like they've already lifted him from their ranks. Alas. For the record, their site might be NSFW: I quote, "[t]his website is intended for a mature audience only, and contains images of nudity, sex and violence!" I haven't run across any sex or nudity, but then again, I've only given it a cursory one-over. And that's all I plan on. Forewarned is forearmed.
Anyway, I find the whole idea of this nasty, dregs-of-the-dregs-of-humanity Canadian wrestling league kind of depressing. Really depressing, I guess. In addition to the really depressing reason I started writing this whole post. So, uh... sorry.
Additonal depressing: this article by Llakor, a self-professed IWS broadcaster/employee/whatever. About the IWS' signature event, "Fans Bring The Weapons". You don't have to read all that much to get a sense of the depths these guys are plumbing. Illuminating quote from Llakor on why he was looking forward to this year's "Fans Bring The Weapons": "I was trying to figure out why, when it suddenly occurred to me that the new ingredient this year was… hatred."
Also: Llakor's unedited take on accused murder, "Career Killer" Kurt Lauderdale nee Lauder -- all punctuation and spelling errors are his own, as are mine:
Face of a baby, body of a monster, soul of a serial killer. That is Kurt Lauderdale in a nut shell.
From the very first moment that Kurt Lauderdale stepped into the IWS ring, he has proved himself to be dangerous, violent and without the slightest shred of restraint or remorse. When he made his debut in January of 2003 as Hi-5’s bodyguard, Kurt immediately destroyed Wailing Jimmy Handjob, Zero and Irish Mike Luger, giving Irish Mike Luger a concussion. None of the three have been seen in an IWS ring since and Irish Mike Luger has not wrestled anywhere since that day.
But this year, two things motivated Kurt Lauderdale to elevate his game and become even more deadly. First, during the IWS’ Fifth Anniversary Show “V”, Kurt Lauderdale stood toe to toe with Sid Vicious. While the team of Kurt Lauderdale and Kid Kamikaze did not beat the team of Sid Vicious and Pierre Carl Ouellet, since that day Kurt Lauderdale has walked with the swagger of a monster who knows how big he is. It was as though just being in the ring with Sid Vicious and seeing that he was just as big as one his heroes, that Kurt realized just how big he really was.
Then during the following IWS show, Hardcore Heat, the Evil Ninja slashed open Kurt’s arm with a ninja sword. Suddenly Kurt was motivated to hurt people, but especially Ninjaz. The feud with the Evil Ninja climaxed with Kurt destroying the Evil Ninja during Freedom to Fight in a barbed wire board match.
So, on March 26th, you put a monster, possibly the most dangerous man in Canada, in the ring against Manny, a man that he hates because Manny fired him and against the Evil Ninja, a man that he hates because the Evil Ninja scarred and disfigured him, and you hand Kurt Lauderdale weapons to make him even more dangerous…
What do you think will happen?
Personally, I expect blood, rivers and rivers of blood.
Look, I know that's only huckster hype bullshit, and apparently written months before the allegations against Lauderdale came out, but still... So ugly on so many levels. And I thought Canadians could do no wrong. Maybe this is strictly a Québec issue. Had I mentioned that the IWS apparently has a wrestler named Wailing Jimmy Handjob? For whatever it's worth.
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